Our life should to tell a story…

Without getting philosophical, spiritual, or religious about things, at a basic level we all have the gift of life and surely our aim should be to tell a story!?

Whether that story has a big impact on society, the world, or just those around you.  Or whether the story is more personal, is up to you.

One thing is for sure though, none of us want a boring or stagnant life do we?  So, we should all challenge ourselves to think ‘what story am I telling and is it how I expected or wanted it to be?  Is it interesting to me?’

I had opportunity last week to participate in an amazing client experience – one of those programs that doesn’t come along every day, where the client wanted to make a difference and wasn’t afraid to take risks – or our counsel – on how to do it.  The result – an amazing leadership program that not only satisfied the stated learning objectives, but went far beyond in terms of creating momentum and a spirit with the participants.  Interestingly, a large part of our approach focused on how to tell a story – and how to tell a different story when organizational change is a stated goal.   Immersive environments, professional actors, and illustrators all combined with one goal – to re-write the story.

Sometimes just such a break from the past is needed to re-launch our story or to ensure that its constant evolution is on the path that we desire (professionally or personally).  If constant ‘change’, in our personal and working lives, is here to stay… How can we embrace and use this to find opportunities and steps we can take to enrich our life stories and achieve our goals?

It’s just too easy to fall into the trap of stagnating – and we are all guilty of doing it at one stage or another – unless you find time to take stock and look at life through a different lens, with a fresh perspective.  We have to take positive action to navigate to a new part of our story… This could start with learning or experiencing new things, thinking differently, or visiting somewhere new and inspiring.  Look for opportunities to intentionally put yourself outside of the ‘norm’ or your comfort zone.  You may be surprised where this takes you…

Learning new things, thinking differently, and being inspired are great places to start.

Could you benefit from 'learning by stealth'?

A common criticism of face-to-face training is that it gives people a moment of epiphany…but then it’s back to work and, all too often, back to business as usual.  It is well documented that any new skill requires repeated hours of practice to master – yet, we don’t always structure our own personal development in a way that facilitates repeated practice.  So why is that?

The reality is that people are in a hurry.  Development is often viewed as one more thing on the ‘to do’ list and thus the entire process is managed as an event.  As if we don’t learn when not in the ‘training event’!

But learning opportunities are constantly around us.  What if our developmental programs were so well-integrated into daily life that you didn't even know you were being trained?


‘Learning by stealth’ isn't as far-fetched as it might sound.  It’s simply a case of providing a learning experience that is more naturally orchestrated within the day-to-day rhythm of the business. Just think of the advantages:

• The learning is directly related to your own personal circumstances and work objectives
• Learning can be reinforced many times over, ensuring a sustained advantage
• Learning budgets potentially go much further
• Higher participation rates (how many people don’t think they need or have time for training versus how many people would miss a scheduled ‘meeting’)

But learning by stealth still takes a concerted planning effort to pull off – it can’t be left to chance.  Only the most experienced trainers/facilitators can provide the right combination of challenge and support that’s required to bring out the best in each individual, and to ensure that the primary goal of the intervention really is rooted in learning -- otherwise it will just be a meeting!  

And all of these learning opportunities should still be managed in a cohesive way…a stealth architecture perhaps!

The key advantage of this type of approach is that it can be much more impactful than traditional theory and practice style training.  And for many, who in today’s fast-paced and highly entertained world would resent anything akin to boilerplate development, stealth training can achieve breakthrough results.

So next time you’re offered an opportunity for a ‘day of training’ – why not consider how you would structure that development in a way that embeds and sustains your development right in the context of your day.  Perhaps the day of training, is 8 stealth opportunities that just ‘naturally appear’ in the course of your day.  I think you’ll find this approach ensures greater connectivity and relevance, and thus assures you more natural points to practice and develop new skills.

Don’t forget the soft stuff

More and more research validates that universities are not equipping graduates with the real skills they need to succeed in the workplace.

Employers are saying that it’s not enough just to have technical or academic ability. Understandably, they want to recruit candidates who will be a good ‘fit’ in their organization. Usually this translates as: will they get along with other people? Can they cope with life in the workplace?  Are they adaptable as things change? It seems what is missing, for many graduates, are the ‘softer skills’ that relate to their ability to empathize and interact effectively with others, to communicate well, and to work in teams. And these are the key skills for aspiring professionals and managers!

These issues aren't likely to go away, and in my opinion if anything will be exacerbated by other environmental shifts.  I grew up in a generation where my social interactions with others were constant, and face-to-face.  Matter of fact, I can still remember my only negative report cards from early education typically containing some language to the effect of cautioning about the extent of my ‘socialness’.  Not only didn't my educators recognize how this aided my development, they actually felt I was hampering others in their noble quest to diagram a sentence or memorize the periodic table!  Today’s generation (our up and coming workforce) has developed in a much more ‘heads down’ mode.  While a more technology-agile workforce will have some advantage, a workforce whose primary method of communication is texting, may not.  What’s worse is that this generation is entering the workforce at a time when many organizations, looking for budget cuts, aren't investing as heavily in the very skills that will be needed for survival.

Back in 2012, we highlighted that business should really be looking for five specific traits and a mind-set for success, in new recruits.  Because the days of hiring people for a steady job - with a predictable workload - are over, our argument is that employers now need to recruit and develop individuals who are talented, resilient, adaptable, imaginative and trustworthy. These five traits form the mnemonic TRAIT. Adaptability is vital, as today’s recruits will need to become, to some extent, a Jack or Jill of all trades. The most important thing, though, is having the right mind-set, because that will impact on whatever job they’re asked to do.

So, why aren't these skills overtly learned at universities or business schools? Perhaps because ‘soft skills’ can actually be the hardest skills to teach? Getting people to behave differently, take a different approach, or have a different attitude, takes a more sophisticated approach to enabling learning.

Two things are needed to resolve this situation. First, students themselves must take more responsibility for developing the skills that will make them more employable. Secondly, universities and business schools need to update their formula. This could mean supplementing their capabilities with an alternative approach, partnering with soft skills providers to provide subject matter expertise and delivery know-how. Not only will the result be valuable for students in their work, but it is likely to help them in their lives generally.  And even then, the workforce must be ready to accept new graduates and understand the fundamental shift that occurs during that first transition to the working world.

So, the real challenge for organizations is to identify and develop candidates that not only have the technical skills required for a task, but also have the right traits and the right mindset for success.

Seeing it their way

A lack of perspective can cause issues in any relationship, personal or professional, and lead to courses of action that no one envisioned or even wanted.

One of the most famous slogans to an American of my generation comes from Burger King’s famous 1970’s ad campaign, ‘have it your way’.  Indeed, probably no other slogan better sums up the American expectation for customer service.  Imagine for a moment if we were just as inspired by ‘see it their way’. What insights might we gain? How much more tolerant might we be?

So, when dealing with people, do you ever ask yourself: Why is this person reacting this way?

Years ago, I had the pleasure of working with a husband and wife executive coaching team, who were two of the funniest people I’ve ever encountered. They could have turned executive coaching into a successful Vegas show! One of their key lessons was an exercise called ‘the perspective of all perspectives’. The idea is to step outside of your own personal position on any subject and to think about it from the perspective of every other person or entity impacted.

Performing this ‘mental levitation’ forces you to be quiet, to listen, to pay greater attention to the detail and to think differently. In the process, you’ll start to see multiple angles, hidden motivators and different agendas which can help you to better understand someone’s reaction or viewpoint. This insight can help you frame questions to ensure absolute clarity.

My life has now placed me in a situation where the majority of my social and professional interactions are with individuals of different cultural background and upbringing.  ‘Seeing it their way’ is a whole new challenge, but one that ultimately enhances my perspective and effectiveness.

In your future exchanges, take a moment to imagine the perspectives of other people. ‘See it their way’; you may be amazed at what you discover.